John T. Willis

Monday, August 31, 2009

World Wide Jokes

The September 2009 Reader's Digest has a section on jokes from countries around the world. I think YOU would enjoy most of these. I will share a few of these in this blog.

Argentina: An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal. "It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything." A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. "I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists. "She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything." Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?" The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"

Brazil: Tired of waiting in the back of the line to get on Noah's ark, a flea jumps from one animal to another as she moves closer to the front. She leaps and leaps until she lands on the back of an elephant. The pachyderm turns to its mate and says testily, "I knew it! Here they go with the pushing and shoving!"

Finland: Hannu wants everything to be perfect for his anniversary trip to the hotel where he and hiw wife honeymooned 30 years earlier. So he gets there a day early to make all the arrangements. That night, he e-mails her but misspells the addres and it goes to a recent widow. The next day, the widow's son finds his mother passed out in front of her computer. On the screen is this e-mail: "My darling wife. I've just gotten here and everything's set for your arrival tomorrow. I hope your trip down here will be as pleasant as mine. P. S. It's really hot!"

Philippines: Joe, Mike, Mary, and Tom were talking about their dream jobs. "I want to be a lawyer," Joe began, "so I can defend my countrymen." "I want to be a congressman," said Mike, "so I can draft laws to benefit my countrymen." "I want to be a doctor," said Mary, "so that I can cure my countrymen." "How about you, Tom? What would you like to be?" asked Joe. Tom thought a moment and replied, "I'd like to be a countryman."

Thailand: "Hurry up or we'll be late!" shouts a teacher to her kingergarten class. "What's the rush?" a tot asks coolly. "If we're late, we'll miss your next class!" the teacher reminds him. The kid shrugs. "If you're in such a hurry, go on without us."

The United States: A priest, a minister, and a rabbi want to see who's best at his job. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. Later they go together. The priest begins: "When I found the bear, I read to him from the Catechism and sprinkled him with holy water. Next week is his First Communion." "I found a bear by the stream," says the minister, "and preached God's Holy Word. The bear was so mesmerized that he let me baptize him." They both look down at the rabbi, who is lying on a gurney in a body cast. "Looking back," he says, "maybe I shouldn't have started with the circumcision."

How about YOUR jokes? Humor helps us get through life. There is a world of humor throughout the Bible. I share some of this from time to time. Tell your good jokes to your friends, your church, your community, your nation, the world. Happy Days.

John Willis


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